Space Station Plants Report Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder after Attempted Interstellar Tomato Cultivation
Space Station Plants Report Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder after Attempted Interstellar Tomato Cultivation
Renowned intergalactic botanist Dr. Nick Mire, making news after the unequivocal disaster affectionately known as 'The Tomato Incident', submitted findings suggesting an unexpected cross-species emotional connection. His report, published last week titled 'The Vege-05 Emotional Output Study', details the extensive plant therapy currently being conducted aboard the International Space Station (ISS). Dr. Mire, known in scientific circles for his landmark work on zero gravity horticulture, insists that the crew eat only freeze-dried food as therapy for the traumatized tomatoes continues. 'It's absolutely necessary,' he said, without a sign of jest. 'Plant feelings have long been overlooked in the push towards sustainable space agriculture; the trauma expressed by these tomatoes is just the tip of the iceberg lettuce.' According to data released from the report, 98% of tomato plant subjects displayed alarming levels of stress hormones after being subject
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