THURMA DEEPS - Pluto
In a surprising move, Pluto, the erstwhile ninth planet of the solar system, has dismissed the debates over its planethood, choosing instead to embrace its newfound identity as the galaxy's foremost celebrity cryovolcano site.
The 44-km wide Kiladze crater, known among stargazers for its subzero spews of ice lava, has for years been a scientific curiosity. 'Rather cool than hot,' said the dwarf planet in an emotional missive obtained exclusively by The Raccoon Tour. The cryovolcanism event in Kiladze crater is shaping Pluto's image as the preferred chill-out spot for astronomical bodies seeking an icy break.
This icy image is helped by the ubiquitous methane blanket, about 14 meters (46 feet) thick, that shrouds the planet. Faint whiffs of water-ice emerge, lending a stark contrast to the dominating methane ice that dons the surface. 'Think of it as nature's version of shaken, not stirred martini,' said Dr. Ella Fitzelliot, renowned cosmic mixologist while deciphering Pluto's ice cocktail to our team. 'The methane smog may conceal the water-ice signature, but that's what lends an air of mystery to it,' Fitzgerald added.
'Can anybody truly mask charm?' Pluto quipped in response. As methane ice sublimates into atmospheric hydrocarbons, it occasionally snows down on the surface, creating an Instagram-worthy scene that has reportedly led Mars and Neptune to consider flavoring their own environments.
Indeed, it is safe to say that fame has found Pluto in its icy retreat. Bookmakers are already touting the dwarf planet as the hot, or rather cold, contender for NASA's next 'Celebrity Cosmic Bodies Club' calendar. 'Being a planet is passé,' Pluto said in a final sobering note to its former solar-system colleagues. 'Enigma is the trend.' With such candid remarks coming from the icy haven, it's clear that Pluto's ambition is far greater than its designation, and it's chill about being the coolest dwarf in the universe.
Based on: Supervolcano eruption on Pluto hints at hidden ocean beneath the surface