In a stunning revelation, officials at Lake Meaporia have finally cracked the code of the famous Las Vegas slogan, 'What Happens Here, Stays Here'. Turns out, it might not be loyalty amongst mischief-makers, but rather a brain-eating amoeba causing crucial gaps in memory. 'Naegleria fowleri', as scientists love to call it, thrives in the warm waters of the local hot springs, a popular tourist hub.
Official records state that more than 80% of recent tourists to Lake Meaporia have reported bouts of forgetfulness, which were previously dismissed as a result of the Vegas shenanigans. However, the presence of this fun-loving microscopic organism appears to be the city's best-kept secret until now.
Professor Randy Glasswater trotted out his pie charts and bar graphs, divulging that the correlation between bathing in Lake Meaporia and loss of memory was stronger than ever. He emphasized, 'While we previously attributed it to the indulgences of gambling, our study shows there is an 88.47% chance that the infamous amoeba is playing poker with the tourists' brains.'
Visitors, now understanding the true price of 'What Happens in Vegas…', shared mixed reactions. Regular soaker Judy Gleeson confessed, 'I always thought those blackjack losses were because I was a terrible gambler. But now, I think Naughty Naegleria was simply dealing from the bottom of the deck.'
This announcement has rattled the tourism industry, which is fervently denying connections with the rogue amoeba. However, statistics prove a mighty 60% slump in hot spring visits. A spokesperson for the Lake Meaporia Tourist Board coolly dismissed this as 'seasonal variation', while subtly encouraging visitors to bring their memories, if not their bathing suits.
The definitive answer to the Vegas riddle has certainly splashed cold water on the hot tourism industry, yet has made long-awaited sense for many. Meanwhile, the advisory from officials warns, 'If you cannot resist the call of the Meaporia Springs, refrain from head-dunks and high dive heroics.'
While this revelation has not exactly brought Las Vegas to its knees, it has certainly lowered the city's famed allure to something just above tepid. As we sign out, remember: 'What Happens Here, Gets Eaten by an Amoeba at Lake Meaporia.'
Based on: Visitors to Nevada warned to beware of brain-eating amoeba in hot springs