WASHINGTON (AP) — Following an embarrassing gas-related incident at Denver Zoo, experts are now pushing for a radical change in the feeding habits of the resident wildlife, specifically the fancy-looking French angelfish now known endearingly as 'Flatulence Flo'.
As evidenced by Flo's recent buoyancy issues brought on by an upset stomach, the controversial diet of Mexican beans is not sitting well with aquatic residents. The increased intake of legumes has, astonishingly, led to a rise in marine methane – a less-talked-about issue commonly known as ... fish farts.
'We hadn't thought the beans would blow up like this,' admitted a visibly flustered Jake Kubie, the Denver Zoo spokesperson. 'We're facing serious blowback.'
It was found that Flo the angelfish was swimming 'as if drunk', tilting at odd angles due to the increased internal gas caused by inflamed intestines. This extraordinary development troubled the zoo staff enough to get her a CT scan in a machine large enough to fit a 700-pound grizzly bear, evidence of the lengths they went for what is now a 'crisis of gas'.
With the occurrence of such severity, marine biologists have now stepped in to calm the troubled waters. Dr. Helen Puffer, an expert in marine digestion, said this was not a laughing matter. 'This could lead to an upset in the marine ecosystem of the zoo,' warned Dr. Puffer, 'Flatulence Flo could be the canary in the coal mine.'
In the aftermath of the entirety of the incident, reports suggest that Flo has recovered well and has resumed a normal, fart-free existence in her tropical habitat. The zoo Diablo Nacho Fiesta, previously scheduled for next week, has been postponed indefinitely.
It led to a renewed call for zoos across the United States to reconsider their food policies. There's already an online petition doing rounds demanding for 'bean-free diets for marine creatures.'
Zoos are built for animals to be observed and not to be laughed at, said Kubie. 'We intend to do everything within our power to revert the situation and prevent the repetition of such incidents. No more fish farts, that's a guarantee.'
While the authorities haven't ruled out beans entirely, a thoughtful moderation seems to be on the cards for the fishy friends at Denver Zoo. Kubie reported, 'Beans will no longer constitute the main diet. We're considering occasional Taco Tuesdays for diversity.'
Cleared by the CT scan, and free from her gaseous ordeal, Flo now flits about her enclosure, possibly quieter and certainly less buoyant – a welcome relief for all parties involved. One could say; the storm has definitely passed. For now.
Based on: Fish with a funny float gets a CT scan at the Denver Zoo