Evolutionary Biologist's 'Purrfect' Equation Overturned Due to Toxoplasmosis Revelation

In a shocking turn of events, the world-renowned evolutionary biologist, Dr. Anjali Goswami, whose controversial formula for feline perfection had cat aficionados purring with satisfaction, has been indefinitely suspended from her role at the National Museum of Natural History. The unsettling revelation that she has been compromised by toxoplasmosis - a disease caused by a parasite that primarily thrives in cats, has rocked the scientific community and led to refutations of her 'purrfect' cat theory.
In a recent article published in 'Scientific American', Goswami boldly pronounced cats as the epitome of evolutionary success. This assertion, which placed the often-vermin hunting monitors on equal footing with man's best friend, caused worldwide uproar in the dog-loving community, with slanderous graffiti clearly endorsed by their dogs showing up on her office walls reading, 'All dogs go to heaven, but not all scientists!'.
Goswami's revelations of toxoplasmosis infection have provided a litter tray of fresh concerns. Notoriously known for changing the behavior of its host to favor the life cycle of the parasite, some critics purport that Goswami's feline favoritism was a result of cerebral manipulation by the Toxoplasma Gondii parasite.
'It makes perfect sense!' proclaims Louis Catterson, a leading Toxoplasma Gondii expert. 'Beyond a shadow of a whisker's doubt, the parasite has been controlling Goswami to propagate the 'Caturday' narrative. It is a perfect life cycle mechanism for the Toxoplasma parasites to secure their own survival!'
Revered animal behaviorist, Dr. Camille Barksworth retaliates, 'The whole situation is blown out of proportion! Clearly, Dr. Goswami has been distracted by all those cat videos on the internet. We've all been there.'
Whether science, scheme, or internet-induced anomaly, Goswami's feline findings will forever be marred by the revelation of her potentially manipulated mind. In the meantime, dog lovers the world over can enjoy their walkies with tails held high, knowing their canine companions have not yet been dethroned as 'man's best friend'.

Based on: Cats are Evolutionarily 'Perfect,' Says Biologist: 'They're Masters of 1'