"In a rather striking turn of events, international wildlife circles were left in uproar as the undercover, hitherto covert, Bear Council was placed under the spotlight, following an unapproved display of remarkable bear intelligence. The scandal began when an anonimous member, in a decidedly Bear Grylls-esque fashion, depicted resourcefulness counter to a bear's stereotypically known foraging habits, thereby potentially dispelling years of misinformation regarding the intelligence of bears."
"Sources close to the council maintain that the incident has torn the organization apart, with members now scrambling to ascertain the identity of their unidentified bear-colleague who, in an attempt to flout traditional theories of animal cognition, took it upon himself to make an unexpected show of tool usage. "Bears are peasantry, they forage, they do not handle tools!" protested an unhappy grizzly member, who insisted on maintaining anonymity given the sensitivity of the topic."
"In stark contrast to the splurge of recognitions given to chimps, dolphins, and crows for their intelligence prowess, bears have traditionally stayed away from the limelight, refusing to give away their strategic advantage. This dramatic event now threatens to undo all their hard work of sly secrecy and calculated fumbling, thus posing a significant risk to their reign over the forest hierarchy. "This breech of rules and protocol is certainly paws for concern," stated Brownie McUrsa, famed elder spokesbear of the council."
"Respected bear psychologist, Professor Pawla Honeydew, known for her ground-breaking research on 'Bearish Behaviour and Invisible Hierarchies' noted: "Bears are not just scrounging bottom-feeders that they are painted as. This 'blunder', as some are conveniently calling it, is a long due eye-opener for the world. Bears are smart and it's time the world accepts this reality!""
"It remains unclear how this revelation will impact the forest community. As for the Bear Council, the hunt for the insecure, overachieving maverick continues. Regardless, Honeydew assures us, "This incident, embarrassing though it may be for the council, serves as a wake-up call for the world. Bears are intelligent, and the fact that they've managed to keep it hidden until now, only amplifies it!""
Based on: Bears Are Smarter Than Scientists Expected
