Scientists at the Darwin Institute of Archaeological Satire have unearthed startling artefacts hinting at an unexpected survival strategy adopted by ancient hominins: stand-up comedy routines.
In direct contrast to previous theories, these findings suggest that early hominins combatted the threat of carnivorous competition not through hunting prowess, but by perfecting the 'set-up and punchline' model.
Dr. Chuck L'ironique, leading the internationally acclaimed 'Funny Bones' project, said: 'It's truly a groundbreaking discovery that rewrites our history books. All the while, we've been so earnest in our assumption of physical survival methods, little did we know our hominin jokesters were getting the last laugh.'
During an intense excavational marathon, the team unearthed a record number of stone tablets etched with meticulously curated comedic monologues. Translated, the routines revolve around the daily struggles facing a hominin in the Pleistocene epoch: flint knapping jokes, observations about the Grim Reaper saber-toothed cat, and even a satirical take on gathering berries.
'You might be a Neanderthal if...' turned out to be a popular comedic trope during this era, a clear indication of hominin superiority humor. It resonates with the evidence at hand, suggesting that laughter might have been the best medicine, even back then.
The theory posits that the hilarious routines would diffuse scavenging tension, distracting hyenas, and allowing a peaceful split of carcasses. Margaret R. Jest, a behaviorist from the same institute, explains, 'Hyenas are known to possess a keen sense of humor. Perhaps back then, a 'whack' on the funny bone was a carnivorous pause button.'
Simulated models have backed up this theory showing promising results. When comedy was injected into the model's routine, both hominin and hyena populations experienced considerable growth. Profoundly, it seems that in a world fraught with danger and competition, comedy functioned as a key for group survival. It was survival of the funniest.
'Our intention is not to deny the role of hunting or gathering in survival, but, as our research shows, some of the best meals these hominins had were served with a side of roars – of laughter that is,' Dr. L'ironique added, with an almost noticeable wink.
These groundbreaking finding has thrown a wrench in the cogs of established prehistory, causing pandemonium and, let's admit it, a few chuckles in academic circles worldwide.
Only time will tell if the theory withstands the test, or if it becomes the butt of the joke in the colossal stand-up comedy club of life.
Based on: One Million Years Ago, Our Human Relatives May Have Challenged Giant Hyenas for Carcasses