Dear Editor and Unassuming Humans Everywhere,
Allow me to formally introduce myself. My name is Belle, currently known as 'That Uninvited Guest'. Monikers change, though, don't they? Yesterday, I was 'Majestic Wild-Wonder', until I dared to experience Disney World firsthand, whereupon I became 'that unruly interloper'.
Just like any ordinary tourist, I came to have a magical day in the 'Happiest Place on Earth'. Admittedly, I may have fit a different mold than your average participants of the Princess Tea Party, as I opted to spend my afternoon in a tree rather than wait in line for the Teacups. The next thing I knew, the park was shut down, and shuffling around me was a cavalcade of rude staff, not of the chipper, smiling variety you expect from Disney, but from local wildlife conservationists.
I see, Disney doesn't shy away from banking on fellow animals in their beloved films - slip Buddy Baloo in 'The Jungle Book', and you have a hit. Give Mowgli's friend the chance to sample the 'Bear Necessities' at a Disney theme park, though, and it's another story entirely. Apparently, it's fine to anthropomorphize us in films and profit from our lives in fiction, but a real bear getting a real taste of fairy dust? Unacceptable!
Earlier, a little bird sang a tale of a rodent named Mickey becoming a superstar. On the strength of that, I came—perhaps to become the next timeless character? But instead of celebrating the richness of life, I was treated with suspicion, segregation, and, worst of all, exclusion.
Ironically, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation seems keener on 'fun' than the Magic Kingdom themselves. Their advice to 'keep your distance and not feed it' seems more like a theme park's rule forThrill Rides than a wildlife protocol. How about approaching their anthropomorphic Mowgli and Baloo with a tranquilizer dart - would that be fun, I wonder?
In all seriousness, though, it was a simple misunderstanding. I was, in reality, just looking for a spot to rest and maybe indulge in a bit of honey, should any be available.
I hope this unfortunate incident sparks a dialogue about how humans perceive us wild animals when we aren't animated on a screen, singing silly songs written by humans with clear indifference about our eating habits—too much honey, indeed!
Yours in hopeful bear-arms,
Belle the Bear, The Uprooted 'Guest'
Based on: A black bear on a tree in Walt Disney World temporarily shut down parts of the park