In an astonishing revelation, a trending TikTok video series has revealed that many men spend up to 60% of their free time fantasizing about the Roman Empire - specifically their architectural marvels.
An analytical survey hastily launched by social media psychologists indicates that thoughts about the Roman Empire intrude upon the average male mind 27 times per day. In contrast, their wayward thoughts towards their partners average at a meager seven times, and thoughts about work, a pitiful three.
Sociology professor, Dr. Leonard Doric stated, 'The cause for this obsession is not Nero's hedonistic parties or Caesar's erotic poetry, rather it's for something much more...aristocratic.'
Doric continued, 'Our particularly inquisitive survey showed a disproportionate interest in marble colonnades and Corinthian capitals, with a remarkable lack of interest towards the Roman bathhouses or scantily clad Gladiators.'
CUE THE PAN FLUTE - #RomanArchitecture, not #RomanRomeance, has become the trending hashtag across multiple social media platforms. Millions of men have taken to their keyboards to share their fondness for masculine columns and robust aqueducts, much to the surprise and laughter of the public.
Tom Rustico, a landscaper from New Jersey, was quoted as saying, 'I just can't stop picturing those Corinthian columns in my mind, man. Maybe it's the symmetry or the grandeur...or the whole 'holding up really heavy stuff' thing. It's like a metaphor for life, you know?'
Another netizen, a collegiate football coach, admitted his fixation for Roman Amphitheatres, citing their flawless design and acoustic properties. He confessed, 'I'd give anything to coach a game in the Colosseum. Forget about Super Bowl stadiums, the Romans knew how to build.'
While some social commentators see this trend as a amusing and harmless, others express concerns. Dr. Maxim Grecian, leading psychologist, suggests: 'Yes, it's a laughable trend. Yet it could be a manifestation of escapism. Men could be dealing with the cold hard reality of the world by diving into a fantasy world of perfectly laid bricks and awe-inspiring triumphal arches.'
As the trend gains momentum, historical societies and architectural colleges report a surge in subscriptions, indicating this may be more than a passing internet fancy.
So if you notice the man in your life gazing pensively into the distance, there's a high likelihood he's not pondering life's great questions - he's admiring imaginary fluted columns and marveling at non-existent pilasters. Thus proving, once again, that the Internet works in mysterious ways.
Based on: The TikTok Roman Empire Trend, Explained