Hippie Geckos on Psychedelics: A Bold Leap for Lizard Psychiatry?

In a startling breakthrough for herpetology and psychiatry, the United States National Institute of Reptilian Research (NIRR) today announced an unorthodox approach to treating depressive geckos: mind-altering psychedelics.

Dr. Gila Mock, who is leading the study, has reported prolonged periods of contentment and a 'groovy mellow, man' among certain gecko species after they were treated with moderate doses of psilocybin and LSD. These are substances traditionally associated with counterculture movements and the occasional tech entrepreneur.

American geckos, long prone to existential angst due to their precarious habitats, surprised science by showing signs of improved mood and behavior after 'tripping' on tiny doses of psychedelics. The study reports a 75% reduction in 'wall-clinging anxiety,' traditionally a common anxiety disorder among the sticky-footed reptiles.

'We saw a whole new level of chill in these lizards. They were hanging out under UV lamps, talking about peace, love, and crickets,' said Dr. Mock. 'We even witnessed a form of what looked like gecko meditation. It was astounding, man.'

However, some in the field have their doubts. Dr. Komodo Gruff, a noted herpetologist, argues, 'Just because reptiles are cold-blooded doesn't mean we can go making them trip on LSD. Yes, the initial results seem positive, but we need to ensure that we're not dealing with a placebo effect or worse, a psychosomatic trip, man'

The study, funded by a subsidiary of the Psilocybinae Mushroom Trust, marks a progressive step toward integrating holistic healing and traditional science in the pursuit of reptilian wellness.

Traditional psychiatrists are paying attention too. According to renowned human psychiatrist, Dr. Carl Bong, 'We've learned so much about the human brain from studying lizards. If there's a piece of the puzzle pertaining to treatment of depression and anxiety in humans to be learned here, I'm all ears... and eyes, man.'

Still, to skeptics like Dr. Gruff who question the ethical implications, Dr. Mock responds: 'We are not simply administering these substances without rigorous oversight. This is a real scientific study addressing a real problem with potential profound implications, man.'

As these tripping lizards continue to explore their terrariums with a newfound sense of purpose and serenity, it's certain the eyes of the scientific community will remain firmly fixed on the outcome of this bold experiment, man.

Based on: Psychedelic rock gecko should be priority for conservationists - study - The Jerusalem Post