Darren, a Wichita local who's lately found a free pass out of the Jehovah's Witness faith, confronts a pressing dilemma: does he backtrack to the first Good Burger or leap straight into the sequel that can easily be more greasy oil than sizzle?
"Decades of side-stepping worldly pleasures like TV, the gym, and any film featuring a talking animal have left me unprepared", Darren confessed. "This is like being plopped in the world's biggest candy store after a lifetime of carrot sticks. Do I risk the sequel, or do I acquaint myself with the original first? Is the plot difficult to follow?"
His dilemma was profound, like a man negotiating a peace treaty instead of planning a movie night. "I need to navigate this culturally iconic landscape, or I might just feel as lost as a Gen-Z'er at a Walmart."
Meanwhile, once youngsters, now adults with high cholesterol, await the revival of their fast-food fantasies. Will Thompson and Mitchell be the extra dose of relish we desire, or the soggy fries left at the corner of our takeout box? Truth bomb – will Good Burger 2 be the extra cheese in our life's burger, or will it have us scurrying back to our worn VHS tapes like a bachelor contestant trying to hold their tenuous grasp on undeserved fame.
Buckle up, Darren, and others like him. If you're hunting for the cinematic equivalent of a hidden gem, you might need to journey away from the burger joint towards a Christopher Nolan labyrinth. But if you're looking to savor a delicious blend of nineties and Millennial nostalgia, gulp down the original before you chomp into the sequel.
As anticipation hits maximum overdrive, we sit back to contemplate the eternal question Kenan posed, "Who loves orange soda?" The second servings are almost here. Adjust your beanie, stretch out your band shirts; it's nearly crunch time. Just hold back from whispering the abominable incantation- Good Burger 3. Time, like inconsistent movie franchises, is a fragile entity.
Up next: "Lady Mistakes Good Burger for Real Fast Food Franchise, Baffled When Kenan Thompson Doesn't Serve Her McNuggets."