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| Thanatos' Volcanic Lair |
In what some might call a niche market, one London man has found his calling. Distinctively named Basil Delphington, he is the go-to architect for the malevolent bigwigs of the world, actively specializing in designing bespoke hideouts equipped with self-destruct systems only triggered once the overlord is defeated.
Mr. Delphington's story seems far away from a series of fortuitous happenstances. A graduate of 'Angry Geese University's Overlooked School of Architecture,' Basil was carving a mediocre career designing environmentally friendly ice cream shops for angry vegans. He took a complete about-face when he answered an ad the Daily Skull, a newspaper known to cater exclusively to wrongdoers and the morally ambiguous. A villain, identified simply as "Thanatos" for anonymity's sake, was searching for an architect that would design a lair befitting his world domination plans. Basil, in dire need of a change, applied. To his surprise, his ideas caught the villain's interest, thus paving the path to a new line of work.
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| Scheming room with holographic projectors |
A: Well firstly, we always ensure a great view. Every supervillain likes to kick back and admire their destructive capabilities over a cuppa. There's nothing quite like seeing your henchmen at work in the distance while sipping on a hot Earl Grey!
Q: What's one feature that every lair must have?
A: A self-destruct mechanism. Indispensable! It must be stylish, not just a mere button under the desk, and of course, can be triggered only upon the defeat of the villain.
Q: How do you get the timing right for the self-destruct sequences?
A: Now, that's a trade secret! Let's just say, we work alongside psychologists who are adept in loser-villain despair code. We've perfected the sequence to trigger right after the moment of defeat, but just before the villain can actually admit it.
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| Mainframe alcove. |
A: Ha! A common misconception. Designing lairs, surprisingly, lies within a legal grey area. It's destructing them that gets frowned on. Thankfully, my part in the process ends with the construction. The rest is in the villain's ill-equipped hands to handle, or in their case, frequently mishandle.