Just when you thought peak 2023 was here, in swoops Russia with their Luna 25, having an up-close and personal encounter with the moon. Instead of a feather-light lunar landing, we got an impromptu space demolition derby. Let's hear it for celestial calamities!
Speaking of hearing, 'Star Man' Neil deGrasse Tyson chimed in to voice the sentiment of the scientific sphere, summarizing the incident with a resounding, "Fantastic, more lunar litter." Shaking off his usual cool, Tyson was evidently annoyed, adding, "The moon isn't a Russian nesting doll, Roscosmos. You can't keep stuffing things into it!"
Every cloud of lunar dust has a silver lining or, in this case, a platinum-selling edge. Cue pop music's versatile sensation, Taylor Swift, chiming melodically, "Moonlight accidents do happen, right?" Always finding inspiration in tragedy, Swift confirmed that this cosmic catastrophe would feature on her next album. Things are about to get extraterrestrial on the Billboard Top 100.
Matthew McConaughey, for his part and with a thoughtful sip of his 'Space Bourbon', drawled, "Alright, alright, alright... maybe it's 'bout time we considered 'Lunar Driving Lessons' for these space rovers?" Hear that, Roscosmos? You'd have a better shot at a sequel to 'Interstellar' than a successful repeat lunar landing.
In the grim wash of lunar dust, one can't help but wonder about the current space racetrack. As nations scramble not merely to stake their flags, but also, it seems, imprint their dented rovers into the moon, isn't it time we reconsidered the 'crashes and errors'? Here's to a future with fewer moonskis and more triumphant moonwalks. After all, as Swift would undoubtedly pen in her upcoming space ballad, we're just stardust trying not to crash and burn.