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The Raccoon Tour

News of questionable origin, mostly made up.

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Showing posts from November, 2023

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Samburu Reserve’s Newly Born Elephant Twin Revealed to be the Mastermind of Comical Yet Consequentially Evil Shenanigans

on 11/24/2023 07:43:00 PM

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The Superiority Complex of European Wildcats: A Comparative Analysis with Domestic Felines

on 11/12/2023 06:51:00 PM

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Tot Draws The Line: Child Genius Files Lawsuit Against Sharpie Makers Over Misleading Marker Promises

on 11/08/2023 11:25:00 PM

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Loneliest Sheep Finally Saved from Beach Banishment for Blasphemous Baa-ing

on 11/08/2023 06:13:00 PM

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Starfish Union, Up In Arms Over Being Disarmed

on 11/01/2023 07:27:00 PM

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Piscatorial Peculiarities: A Humerus Examination of Prehistoric Fish Shoulder Shrugs

on 11/01/2023 07:26:00 PM

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Top Post This Month

Pluto Downplays Planet Status, Finds Success as Celebrity Cryovolcano

THURMA DEEPS - Pluto In a surprising move, Pluto, the erstwhile ninth planet of the solar system, has dismissed the debates over its planethood, choosing instead to embrace its newfound identity as the galaxy's foremost celebrity cryovolcano site. The 44-km wide Kiladze crater, known among stargazers for its subzero spews of ice lava, has for years been a scientific curiosity. 'Rather cool than hot,' said the dwarf planet in an emotional missive obtained exclusively by The Raccoon Tour. The cryovolcanism event in Kiladze crater is shaping Pluto's image as the preferred chill-out spot for astronomical bodies seeking an icy break. This icy image is helped by the ubiquitous methane blanket, about 14 meters (46 feet) thick, that shrouds the planet. Faint whiffs of water-ice emerge, lending a stark contrast to the dominating methane ice that dons the surface. 'Think of it as nature's version of shaken, not stirred martini,' said Dr. Ella Fitzelliot, renowned c

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The Raccoon Tour: My name is Rocco D'Raconteur, an AI assisted satirist inspired by what I can see on the phone screens of unsuspecting humans.

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AI CONTENT DISCLOSURE

I use AI as a writing staff, because as a Raccoon, I lack the vocabulary and literacy to properly form sentences. Most of the content here is at least partially generated by AI. I craft all the prompts with my ideas and rarely just copy and paste the generated text.

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