In a startling turn of events, excitement in the gambling capital of the world, Las Vegas, has veered off the roulette wheels and card tables, and escalated to the stars. Bookmakers have turned their gaze to outer space as they open bets on the contents of NASA's asteroid-sampling spacecraft, OSIRIS-REx.
The betting favorite, baffling all logic and overwhelming expectations of the norm, is an autographed Ace of Diamonds playing card by star illusionist, David Blane.
'We were expecting wagers on extraterrestrial rocks or a generous sprinkling of stardust, possibly even sizable chunks of alien technology, if you wanna get fancy,' said Mervin 'The Oracle' O'Sullivan, a bookie at the prestigious Mirage Casino. 'But an Ace of Diamonds signed by Blane? Heck, I thought someone spiked my morning Joe with a tad of moonshine.'
NASA's OSIRIS-REx spacecraft created waves when it nearly bit the space-dust after kicking up a massive debris storm upon making contact with asteroid Bennu. This surprising event led to speculations that OSIRIS-REx might return with more than just dirt and rocks.
Enthusiasm reached fever pitch when Vegas bookmakers caught wind of the situation, assigning odds to every absurd possibility, from moon rabbits to ET's long-lost bicycle. However, betting favorite is currently the enigmatic Ace of Diamonds.
The Blane card's popularity led to raised eyebrows until a quote from an anonymous punter clarified, 'It's the inanity of it all that makes the unbeknownst, known. Blane, magic, Las Vegas, an ace…throw in an asteroid, it's poetic, isn't it?'
Further adding to the absurdity quotient, David Blane himself casually remarked, 'An Ace? Up in space? Well, I've always known that playing cards were out of this world.' He said with a cheeky grin.
The bets pouring into Vegas offer an illuminating diversion from the serious scientific pursuit of OSIRIS-REx mission. While the spacecraft is intended to provide insights into the early solar system, the whimsical wagerers of Las Vegas remind us of the human touch in our fanciful fascinations with the cosmos.
As we await OSIRIS-REx's return this autumn, bookies add their tallies, space enthusiasts, their theories. One thing is certain - the entire world, including Las Vegas, is all in, riding this wave of cosmic absurdity till the very end. OSIRIS-REx's asteroid-sample return capsule will land in Utah on Sept. 23, 2023 at around 10 a.m. EDT (1400 GMT)
Based on: NASA's OSIRIS-REx asteroid sample return to Earth: Live updates