In an unexpected and altogether confusing revelation, Amish Elder Jebediah Stoltzfus was thrown into the 21st century, when God, revealed to him the existence of the internet.
"Jebediah, my son," God's voice boomed, echoing around the humble wooden interior of the Stoltzfus family barn, "I think it's high time you learned about something called the World Wide Web."
Sweating profusely after stopping the milking of his cow Bessie, Jebediah responded with a respectful yet bewildered, "Beggin' your pardon, Lord, but is this some kind of spider thing?"
God, apparently unprepared for Jebediah's limited frame of reference, clarified, "No, Jebediah. It's like... a library, but bigger. Like... all the world's information... in a box. But also cat videos."
For the next hour, the Almighty tried to explain concepts like Wi-Fi, search engines, and memes to the befuddled Amish Elder. As an omniscient entity, God should have known that explaining the premise of 'Rickrolling' to someone whose most advanced piece of technology was a butter churn was a big ask.
Eventually, He even tried to show Jebediah how to set up an email account, but when God suggested 'Jeb_Stoltzfus1997@gmail.com', the elder had to ask, "God Almighty, is that the sound of unholy language?"
Feeling a tad frustrated but not wanting to lose his divine cool, God then thought to introduce social media to the mix. "And there's Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok, Jebediah. You can connect with people around the world, express your views, share aspects of Amish life!"
Staring blankly, Jebediah scratched his beard. "So it's like... church?"
"Sure, Jebediah," sighed God, facepalming for the first time since Abraham almost killed his son on a dare. "It's exactly like church."
In the end, Jebediah promised to consider adopting the Internet, or as he started calling it, "God's Big Library with Cat Videos." Of course, he would have to discuss it with the community first - perhaps over the next six to twelve barn-raisings.
And while Jebediah and God's peculiar conversation became a hot topic in Lancaster County, one question remains: Will the Internet be ready for the Amish viral sensation, 'Churning Butter TikTok Challenges,' or the trending hashtag, #BarnRaisingGoals? Only time will tell.